Leave Him Alone!
by CrystalTears631
Summary: In which Norway helps his protégé scare away his stalker. Inspired by the Alexander Rybak song Leave Me Alone. Warning: Contains a tiny bit of violence, swearing and yaoi.


Title: Leave Him Alone!

Characters: Norway, Alexander Rybak and Denmark

Ratings: K

Summary: In which Norway helps his protégé scare away his crazy stalker. Inspired by the Alexander Rybak song, Leave Me Alone.

Warnings: Weird grammar ( The English I learn here is different), Norway being slightly OOC, a tiny bit of yaoi, an even more tiny bit of swearing and Denmark being annoying. Norway is rather chatty with Alex in this fic because in my headcanon, Norway is Alex's violin teacher and became good friends with him after that.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the plot.

All right, let the story begin!

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Norway opened the door of Alexander's house after fishing for what seemed like an hour in his pocket for the key. Alexander had given him a key after the Norwegian started to crash on his couch every now and then to avoid a certain loud-mouthed Dane. Right now he was here because Denmark had found an evil board game otherwise known as Monopoly lying in the attic and forced everybody in the Nordic household to play with him. Denmark may not look or act smart, but strangely enough he was a genius at Monopoly and tended to be extremely annoying while playing. This was why Norway wanted to avoid him. It definitely had nothing to do with a fear of losing to Denmark.

''_Keep telling yourself that Norway, you're just in denial that the idiot is better than you in something,'' _One of Norway's fairy friends decided it was rather entertaining to poke fun at him.

He entered the spacious hall of Alexander's house, a majestic mansion which he had bought after having his popularity skyrocket due to him winning Eurovision 2009. His mansion was near the countryside, quiet and idyllic. A perfect place for composing music or writing poetry. "_Alex is probably upstairs working on another song,"_ he thought to himself. He turned to the stairs, expecting to hear Alex's beautiful playing. What he did not expect was to see Alex suddenly jumping out of nowhere with a baseball bat while shouting " Leave me alone, you crazy woman!"

Norway did not say anything. His expression did not even change. He is famous for being emotionless after all. He just stepped to one side and silently watched Alex attacking the air while shouting profanities in Norwegian. Thank Odin his Viking skills were still intact or he would have had a concussion as a result of Alex's crazy baseball bat swinging.

After a while, Alex calmed down enough to notice that Norway had been standing in a corner and watching his antics for quite some time. " Norway! I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed. " I thought that crazy girl had came back!"

" I shall safely assume that this so-called crazy girl is the one you mention in your latest song, Leave Me Alone. How did she even find your address?" asked Norway.

" I have no idea! She follows me everywhere, she sends me tons of creepy e-mails, she loiters outside my home!" Now that Norway had a good look at Alex, he noticed that he looked much more paler than before, and he also had dark bags under his eyes .

" Why didn't you call the police?"

" I have already done that. However this girl is smart. They still can't find her. If this carries on, I might just have a mental breakdown."

" So, what does she want from you?"

" I think she's got a crush on me."

" Crush in the understatement of the year. More like obsession."

" So what should I do?"

" If I were you, I will kill her."

" _What?"_

" I used to be a Viking. Why does everybody look so shocked whenever I say anything slightly violent?"

" You look cute and harmless!" ( Norway harmless? A certain Dane will beg to differ)

" Hello pot. Its kettle here. You're black. You look cute and harmless too and yet you tried to hit me with a baseball bat!"

" I apologized for that!"

The doorbell suddenly rang, interrupting their conversation." I'll get it,"said Norway. It might be your infatuated lady friend.

" Try not to maim her. It's rather difficult to get stains out of the carpet."

Just as Norway opened the door, a girl barreled straight into him, knocking him off balance.

" Where's my Alex? You! What have you done to my Alex?" wailed the girl hysterically.

As if on cue, Alexander ran out of a random room, shouting "LEAVE ME ALONE!" repeatedly like a mantra.

" LEXIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS GIRL?! DON'T YOU KNOW I AM YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE? HOW CAN YOU CHEAT ON ME WITH THIS WHORE?"

Norway had been quite calm throughout this little episode. However, when Crazy Girl here called him a whore, he snapped.

" I AM NOT A GIRL AND NOT A WHORE. I AM A GUY AND I AM DATING YOUR ALEX! GO AWAY YOU CRAZY BITCH! HE HATES YOU!" shouted Norway angrily. If that was not crazy enough, Norway yanked Alex down to his level and kissed him. With tongue and all.

"!" was the only thing Crazy Girl could say before she ran out and proceeded to jump into a nearby lake. And that was the end of her.

" This must be a sign of the apocalypse or something. You just showed emotion and kissed someone who is not your boyfriend. I don't think Mr. Denmark would be pleased about this," stated Alex.

" He is not my boyfriend!"

"He is my boyfriend!" a third voice yelled. Norway and Alex turned and looked behind them, only to see Denmark glaring at Alex while pulling his axe out of nowhere.

" Why did you kiss my Norge?!" yelled Denmark as he charged towards Alex with his axe.

Alex picked up his baseball bat to defend himself and shouted: " He kissed me! I didn't do anything!"

Just as Alex was about be sliced in half, Denmark tripped spectacularly on an innocent looking Persian rug that had popped out of nowhere and face-planted onto the ground.

Denmark: 0

Alex : 1

" Wait," said Norway suddenly. " How in the name of Odin did you find this place?"

" Well, I kind of followed you when you sneaked out, hehehe"

" Stupid anko uzai! What are you, a crazy stalker?"

" No, I'm your sexy boyfriend~"

" So, who the hell is he?" asked Denmark. " Are you cheating on me?"

It took all of Norway's self control to not punch the idiotic Dane." He is Alexander Rybak, a very gifted student of mine.''

" You're a teacher? Does this mean we can do that schoolgirl role-play thing?"

" Too much information!" said Alex, trying not to imagine Norway wearing a schoolgirl uniform. He only succeeded in giving himself a nosebleed.

"DIE ANKO UZAI!" Denmark was almost thrown out of a window but Alex gently reminded Norway that he did not appreciate his windows being shattered beyond repair.

" You should not have saved me! Now I am in your debt, you lousy wife-stealer!"

" I did not want to save you, I just wanted my window to be safe."

"Well, I should take this idiot home before he breaks something. I'll visit you another time Alex." Said Norway.

" Yes, good bye and good riddance," said Denmark while sticking out his tongue and dragged Norway off before Alex could even react.

" Noooooooooooorge! How could you kiss him?" whined Denmark once they were out of Alex's house.

" Shut up you idiot." Norway sounded just as cold as usual. However, he let Denmark hold his hand all the way home.

Norway could deny it all he wanted, at the end of the day, he still loved Denmark. Alex smiled to himself as he watched the two disappear into the horizon. Maybe he should write a song about them.

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So, how was it? Review please!


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